Marriage

Ok. If the title alone hasn't peaked your interest let me assure you I AM NOT GETTING MARRIED ;)
Marriage has just been on my mind a lot for the past couple weeks. I blame the majority of it even entering my mind due to a book I'm reading by Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) called Committed. (Its her memoir of her as a skeptic of marriage making peace with it) As a fellow woman that had a bad divorce I totally get where she's coming from. So I'm reading the book la de da and one night I have a dream that Steve and I were getting married....yikes. Only I distinctly remember that it was for insurance purposes or something so the whole thing was very businesslike and in the dream I was trying not to read too much into it. Once again, this I blame on the book because I'd been reading it the night before. Also due that we recently discussed common law marriage to put him on my vision insurance but we (for obvious reasons) decided not to. Which brings me to another point keeping it in my mind. That very same day my friend Lincee texted me telling me she was engaged! I could not be happier for her and if I'm being completely honest I spent a good chunk of the day wondering why I felt jealous of her! So here is the clincher that I came to that day...

I would not be fully opposed to getting married again.

Take a breath. Relax. I know it's a crazy thought to take in given my adamancy against EVER getting married again much less wanting to someday! So I digested the thought and moved on. Took me a lot of courage and almost shame to admit it here for all of you. (Sam please don't say I told you so! lol) So I'm still reading that book and looking forward to my friends wedding in August but the thought has just lingered. Now I've seen so many pictures of peoples weddings and they're all beautiful though the ones I've been looking at seem so extravagant! I just never was one of those girls that wanted the huge expensive wedding! It seems superficial to me for some reason. I'm weird I know. I also would never want a diamond. (don't die of shock here ladies) Steve mentioned it the other night when I had stated (again) that I don't want to get married again despite my mothers daily nagging. He jokingly asked "What would you do if one day I got down on one knee and gave you a big ole diamond ring?" (For those of you who know me and Steve my response will make sense) I said "I would probably die of shock or ask you if you were feeling well!" And we had a good laugh over that. I also told him I didn't think he would buy me a big diamond if for some reason he decided he wanted to marry me. He almost looked offended and asked why and I told him it was just that he would know me well enough to know I would prefer something small. Then my wheels started turning. IF I were to get married this is an idea of what I would want. So I present to you my repressed and newly discovered fantasy wedding:

1. THE RING

This would be more to my liking if I had to have a jewel. I really love white gold/silver and a green oddly set jewel would be fitting enough for my strange relationship lol

 

And this would be all I would ever want. Very old fashioned simple small wedding band. That's it.

2.THE FLOWERS

 Tiger Lilies have always been my favorite.

 A simple white lily could be an accent.

 Red is my favorite color

 These are just fun

 I have no idea what kind of lily this is but I LOVE it!

I've never been a fan of calla lilies but these colors are cool!

3. THE DRESS

Ok so along with the wedding which I'll get to, I always figured if I remarried it would be in just a white dress I could buy at like Kohls or something lol. Something very casual, summery, hippie ish maybe! 

But I"m not gonna lie, This is really pretty! lol

I would add a red sash or some kind of color accent to play it down though.

4.THE PHOTOGRAPHY

http://www.aerodaisy.com/

Well I really like AeroDaisy Design...I would really just want a friend to take pictures with their nice camera!

5. THE WEDDING

Well even before my disastrous marriage even though I had a very nice wedding it was not the one I wanted.

Shotgun wedding, what can I say?

My dream wedding was always to get married on a beach whether it be the ocean or a lake with just two

maybe three of my very best friends there.

We would be barefoot and it would be simple. I don't think I would tell anyone til after the fact so in fact it 

would be kind of like eloping. I just don't want a fuss. If I were to do this again (without a divorce prenup lol)

I would want it to reflect me and him and keep it private. Love is simple when you get right down to it.

 I don't know these people that's just to give you an idea of what's in my head even though it doesn't capture 

it exactly :) 

This is just what's been rolling around my head lately for no apparent reason. I don't want any of you to get your hopes up because this is not in my plans at all I just felt like sharing my thoughts! No matter what pans out with my love life, its never going to be easy. Maybe that's why I like the idea of such a simple no fuss wedding. Because my love life is never going to be THAT simple day to day. Realistically, I'm a package deal and that's a lot to deal with anyway but it's more challenging in my situation. Love is at the core and that's what gets us all through the day.