Last Day of School

So today was Lestat's last day of school! I gotta say, despite what everyone back in Cache Valley said about not finding as good a school for down syndrome kids away from Cache Valley....wrong again people! Lestat has progressed so well I can hardly keep up with him! Instead of teaching him sign language they use a PODD here it's basically a binder full of pictures that Lestat points to to communicate and as of today he has met his goal of responding to it 90% of the time! According to his "report card" lol he has been overheard to say "blocks", "done", and "yea" while he's working! He can also put on his own coat and wash his hands with less help!  I am so proud of my lil man and so grateful for the teachers he had here! I hope he has the same teacher next year! They sent him home with the cutest little bag!

It was full of treats, books, a couple toys, his report card, paintings and...

a yearbook!

first day

playtime!

new friends!

working hard!

playing harder!

learning so much!

love my school!

I was blown away by the effort his teacher and aides must have gone through to do this! I will cherish it forever since these are pictures I had never seen! It's so nice to see how he's really doing at school! And now it's summer and time for daycare...I get it through my work for cheap, but I'd rather he stay in school lol! I am just in awe of how my lil sweet baby has turned into a sweet boy!  I mean how did he go FROM THIS..

Very First Day of School when he turned 3!

TO THIS..

Graduation from Logan Preschool

And then we moved here where he knew absolutely nobody and his first day picture turned into this..

Was not as excited...

But now as of today my little boy went from that to this:

Lestat has gotten so big and has learned so much and I am just so so grateful that I get to be his mommy! Thank you to his new school for toning down his goals and making them more attainable!

Sunlight & Moonbeams

So I'm behind on the blogging. Blame it on my newness and the fact that Steve has been home hogging the computer and I've had my nose buried in the twilight books all week... So here we go, I've finished the books and claimed the computer for the day!

A few nights ago we went to bed late and it was a gorgeous night. The moon was shining so brightly through our bedroom window that I couldn't help but just stare at the lit up patch on my bed. Finally I rolled over into the lit up spot and just stared at the moon for a while. Finally I rolled back up and again couldn't help just staring at the part of the bed just shining in the moonlight. Like it was calling my name. I honestly felt the way a cat probably feels when it curls up into a patch of sunlight. Then Steve rolled towards me muttering that the moon was too bright. So he decided he wanted to look at it too. We rolled over so we were laying the wrong way over the beds and both just had our heads in the moonlight patch of the bed. It took me a bit to fall asleep, not because of the brightness (that actually helped more than avoiding it) but because I was just checking Steve out in the moonlight.
I've always loved the night more than day. Not sure why and don't get me wrong I love beautiful mornings but there's something far more alluring about the moon and stars to me. So looking at Steve fall asleep in our little patch of moonlight reminded me of how many nights we've spent looking at each other under the stars and moon in our time together.

For some reason lately I'm associating Steve with moonlight and Lestat with sunlight.

I mean how can I not?! Lestat's smile just lights you up inside! As a friend of mine has said having Lestat must be like having a constant ray of sunshine in your home! And he is. My little man is my own personal sun.

But what does Steve have to do with the moon? How have I turned Steve into my own personal moon instead of a sun? Well, the moon lights up the night, which Steve definitely lit up my world when it was at it's darkest. I am allured by the moon, by the different kind of light it casts. Steve definitely lights up my life in a far different way than Lestat does. He's darker, quieter, and more thoughtful.

These are just some of my thoughts as of late, it's kind of nice having my own personal sun and moon to light me up. And if I'm being completely honest, I totally thought this was funny after re-reading the twilight books where Bella refers to Jacob as "her personal sun". Lol maybe I could be Bella and Lestat can be Jacob. Steve could be Edward....but NAH!

Mommy's Day

So Mothers Day...this is my first away from home. Granted not much was different aside from missing dinner at the Shepherd cabin! ;) but regardless I had a great Mothers Day! Motherhood has definitely changed me for the better and I couldn't be more grateful! Lestat truly makes me appreciate the little things!

Like that we can choose our own path.

And hang in there no matter what.

That sometimes saying "OH SHIT" is acceptable.

 That some traditions are worth having every year.

That we should enjoy what we eat.

And let go of the guilt.

That we'll always have each other.

That some men do take care of their women.

That a simple gift can say it all.

That a humble thought will grow.

That we can always ride off into the sunset.

That having a big heart is something to smile about.

That sometimes you just gotta scream.

That we can always blow a kiss.

And always remember to not burst anyones bubble!

Lestat is the whole reason I exist, I have learned so much being blessed as his mommy. He may not be able to express himself with words but his smile, his eyes, his tone when he babbles, and most importantly his hugs, kisses, and hand holding shows how much he loves me. There is a special love between me and my son I honestly believe. It's something nobody can ever take away from us and as long as we have each other, who knows what dizzying heights we can reach! Love is hard wired into us as humans, but more often than not we tend to overanalyze and make things much more complicated than they need to be. Lestat has shown me that love can be simpler. For this I am forever grateful that my sweet boy with a heart (and tongue) too big for his body has made my "normal" sized heart swell with so much love and pride and beauty in the everyday simple things that surround us.

Marriage

Ok. If the title alone hasn't peaked your interest let me assure you I AM NOT GETTING MARRIED ;)
Marriage has just been on my mind a lot for the past couple weeks. I blame the majority of it even entering my mind due to a book I'm reading by Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) called Committed. (Its her memoir of her as a skeptic of marriage making peace with it) As a fellow woman that had a bad divorce I totally get where she's coming from. So I'm reading the book la de da and one night I have a dream that Steve and I were getting married....yikes. Only I distinctly remember that it was for insurance purposes or something so the whole thing was very businesslike and in the dream I was trying not to read too much into it. Once again, this I blame on the book because I'd been reading it the night before. Also due that we recently discussed common law marriage to put him on my vision insurance but we (for obvious reasons) decided not to. Which brings me to another point keeping it in my mind. That very same day my friend Lincee texted me telling me she was engaged! I could not be happier for her and if I'm being completely honest I spent a good chunk of the day wondering why I felt jealous of her! So here is the clincher that I came to that day...

I would not be fully opposed to getting married again.

Take a breath. Relax. I know it's a crazy thought to take in given my adamancy against EVER getting married again much less wanting to someday! So I digested the thought and moved on. Took me a lot of courage and almost shame to admit it here for all of you. (Sam please don't say I told you so! lol) So I'm still reading that book and looking forward to my friends wedding in August but the thought has just lingered. Now I've seen so many pictures of peoples weddings and they're all beautiful though the ones I've been looking at seem so extravagant! I just never was one of those girls that wanted the huge expensive wedding! It seems superficial to me for some reason. I'm weird I know. I also would never want a diamond. (don't die of shock here ladies) Steve mentioned it the other night when I had stated (again) that I don't want to get married again despite my mothers daily nagging. He jokingly asked "What would you do if one day I got down on one knee and gave you a big ole diamond ring?" (For those of you who know me and Steve my response will make sense) I said "I would probably die of shock or ask you if you were feeling well!" And we had a good laugh over that. I also told him I didn't think he would buy me a big diamond if for some reason he decided he wanted to marry me. He almost looked offended and asked why and I told him it was just that he would know me well enough to know I would prefer something small. Then my wheels started turning. IF I were to get married this is an idea of what I would want. So I present to you my repressed and newly discovered fantasy wedding:

1. THE RING

This would be more to my liking if I had to have a jewel. I really love white gold/silver and a green oddly set jewel would be fitting enough for my strange relationship lol

 

And this would be all I would ever want. Very old fashioned simple small wedding band. That's it.

2.THE FLOWERS

 Tiger Lilies have always been my favorite.

 A simple white lily could be an accent.

 Red is my favorite color

 These are just fun

 I have no idea what kind of lily this is but I LOVE it!

I've never been a fan of calla lilies but these colors are cool!

3. THE DRESS

Ok so along with the wedding which I'll get to, I always figured if I remarried it would be in just a white dress I could buy at like Kohls or something lol. Something very casual, summery, hippie ish maybe! 

But I"m not gonna lie, This is really pretty! lol

I would add a red sash or some kind of color accent to play it down though.

4.THE PHOTOGRAPHY

http://www.aerodaisy.com/

Well I really like AeroDaisy Design...I would really just want a friend to take pictures with their nice camera!

5. THE WEDDING

Well even before my disastrous marriage even though I had a very nice wedding it was not the one I wanted.

Shotgun wedding, what can I say?

My dream wedding was always to get married on a beach whether it be the ocean or a lake with just two

maybe three of my very best friends there.

We would be barefoot and it would be simple. I don't think I would tell anyone til after the fact so in fact it 

would be kind of like eloping. I just don't want a fuss. If I were to do this again (without a divorce prenup lol)

I would want it to reflect me and him and keep it private. Love is simple when you get right down to it.

 I don't know these people that's just to give you an idea of what's in my head even though it doesn't capture 

it exactly :) 

This is just what's been rolling around my head lately for no apparent reason. I don't want any of you to get your hopes up because this is not in my plans at all I just felt like sharing my thoughts! No matter what pans out with my love life, its never going to be easy. Maybe that's why I like the idea of such a simple no fuss wedding. Because my love life is never going to be THAT simple day to day. Realistically, I'm a package deal and that's a lot to deal with anyway but it's more challenging in my situation. Love is at the core and that's what gets us all through the day.